Have you ever seen the movie Diner? Ya me neither

December 14, 2008 at 8:45 pm (Uncategorized)
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So the office Christmas Party was last night. It was at the Comfort Inn. Swanson House catered. And it was Bring Your Own Booze.

So I get all dolled up to go mingle with the big wigs and throw on that Irish charm, so I can flirt my way to a promotion.

me

I walk into the party with my cooler. I looked like a pro-alcoholic. Sure others had alcohol in the form of mini-bottles and had descretly brought them into the party.

But I showed up with a freaking bright blue cooler. Full. On my shoulder like a purse.

So in all the pictures I am holding a beer, while everyone else has thier drinks concealed in a cup.

And if that didnt seal the deal. OH THEN THIS PICTURE DOES.

classic

Ya, I just totally got caught on camera, pounding a beer. At the company Christmas Party. Mom and Dad, I am sorry.

***I really wasnt pounding the beer. We are in a recession, I had to get the very last drop. I cant in good conscience go around wasting beverages. Alcoholic or Non-Alcoholic.****

We played a raffle game. It was rigged. Our big boss Will, went around with a box and randomly selected people to pull out the winning raffle tickets and read the number out loud. If your ticket matched that number, you won. So after watching ten people win and go and select thier prizes, I was like “Will let me pull out of the magic box!”

So he lets me, and when I pull out the winning ticket, I said “And the winner is Jennifer Hogan!!!!!!”

He took my ticket away from me and read the number.

bosses

It was rigged.

There was a Christmas Tree in the lobby. Everyone stopped and took a picture in front of this Christmas tree. It was like the Christmas tree was a Magical Mythical Beast, that you had to take your picture in front of or NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE YOU THAT YOU REALLY WITNESSED IT!!!

So I totally had my picture taken with it.

girks

And then the company had thier picture taken with it.

group

Now just to prove to you, that I wasnt the only one drinking. I may of brought a cooler but Deirdra brought a Blender. So go ahead and judge her too.

margaritas

And finally, I dont know which picture is going to get me promoted.
Its pretty much a toss up between the pounding the beer picture or this one. Cuz wouldnt you want to wake up and work with this little ray of sunshine, everyday????

Look at my face in the back ground.

lmao

All in all it was fun. I had some good laughs and it was nice to see people outside of the work enviroment. But I still think I deserved a door prize. Just saying.

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AND THAN MY LIFE FLASHED BEFORE MY FACE

December 3, 2008 at 3:27 am (Blonde Moment, britney spears, car, Celebrities, FRIENDS, picture, sarah palin, Uncategorized)

So if you didnt know it I, Jennifer Lynn Hogan, find Sarah Palin totally freaking adorable. I love her upbeat attitude, her gosh darn wordage and the fact that she is a mom of five, married to oh my gosh darnit hotness and  is an elected official in the state of Alaska. She is just a role model to girls, showing that they can have it all. I know there are people who read this blog, who are gagging right now. But oh well. Its my blog. AND I FREAKING ADORE HER.

So my friend Jennifer, who is even more of a fan then I am, called me last week and excitedly tells me “OMG Sarah Palin is coming to Ga to hang out with YOU AND ME!! SHE WANTS TO BE OUR BFF!!!”

So we start making the plans for the meeting of our favorite person ever. We start with Tshirts. They had to be perfect. We shot our ideas back and forth. Finally we came up with simple but stunning. So Sunday morning Jennifer and I meet to go on a hunt for our supplies. Walmart didnt have them unless you are XXXX-Large. So we hit up Target. Nope they dont even carry the shirts, cuz apparently they didnt get the memo that they are located in the south. Then we hit up Hobby Lobby. We go up to the door. It doesnt open. Hmmm maybe its broken, so we proceed to walk all the way around the store to the other door. It doesnt open.

When the heck this store of brilliance go bankrupt?????? It didnt. It was Sunday and they dont open on Sunday. I mean we probably should of figured that out, with the whole parking lot being empty. But its Sunday, and its a day of rest, which means a day of rest of logical thinking.

Jennifer and I are joined at the hip. We even have a secret meeting place thats halfway between our houses, that we meet at when we are in dire need of a laugh. So Jennifer goes to the Walmart in Perry. Finds the shirts and tells me to meet at our secret place, so I can try it on to make sure it fits. So we meet at Gorilla Moes. Where children are running around playing innocently inside. Unbeknown to them, I am on the outside totally stripping my top off. The shirt fit. All that is left, is throwing on some fabulous decorations! So Sarah can totally get the Southern hospitality feel.

We go to the Rally Monday. We are soo excited!! And then she comes out in all her Sarah Glamour!!

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She starts her speech. She thanks everyone for coming out because she sure has been having Georgia on her mind.

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Then she says: “I especially want to thank my girls, Jenn, Jennifer and Jamie for coming out with their adorable shirts!! You girls are uber fun!”

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And she continued: “I am not going to say the word Maverick in this speech, because those girls already warned me, they are making a drink out of it. Every time I say it, they are going to take a shot!!!”

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“Oh no I said it!!!! First shot on me ladies!! You betcha!!!”

After the rally we all go out for our drinks. This is a picture Sarah took of us.

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So today I go to vote. As I leave the polling site, I am on the phone talking about how freaking excited I am that my other BFF, Britney Spears, is going to be in Atl on March 5 putting on a concert. As I go down the steep hill leaving the old mall and head on to Watson, the cable attaching the gear shift to the clutch snaps. Broken. Dead. Car is locked into 2nd gear but reving like it is in neutral. Breaks go out. So ya basically my life flashes before my eyes as the speed builds up, driving into rush hour traffic. The only thing I am thinking is “NO I CAN NOT DIE BEFORE SEEING BRITNEY! CAN NOT! WILL NOT! MUST LIVE!!!!”

So I pull my ninja like moves and grab the E brake and come to a screeching halt.

I call Matt and tell him. He says stay put, Ill be there shortly. So I wait for like 15 minutes. With my hazards on. Two cops pass by. A million and nine cars drive by. Not one person stopped to help me. I sat there thinking “man I know I pay my taxes, shouldnt someone ESPECIALLY the police officers, stop to make sure I am okay?????”

God must really love my blogs, cuz he sure is giving me a lot to blog about!!!

Finally my knight in shining armour shows up and saves the day. He straps a cable to my car, pulls it up with his truck, back into the parking lot. After a trip back to the base and almost dying of hypothermia, Matt fixes my car and sends me on my merry way.

So ya March 5 2008, “Its Britney B*tch!!!”

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