An Irish Girls Mind.

My best friend Monks lil boy turned one May 29 2009. So she threw a birthday today. Its so crazy to think I went to her sons first birthday. His name is Alex. Whats even crazier is this is her second kid. She has a three year old (Jacob) running around too. It doesnt seem long ago we were in middle school together and now BOTOX is right around the corner.

I remember when Monk found out she was preggers with Alex. It was literally a week before our girls trip down to Florida. For months we had planned and planned. We were going to go down to my folks house in Florida, lay out on the beach all day drinking Pina Coldas and then have my parents pick us up stumbling out of the bars at night time. We were going to be 17 again but this time with legal ID’s. Monk was feeling wierd so she took a pregnancy test. Called me. Broke the news that she was with child. I told her I would never forgive her for doing this to me and that Chris did this on purpose!!! Im just kidding. We canceled our trip, but thats okay cuz 9 months later Alex arrived and he is way better then any girls trip could ever be.

Monk decided to throw this birthday party with about three hours notice. Actually it was three days, but she never told me that she changed the start time from 2:00 to 12:30. So at 12:15 when I text her, she picks then to tell me that it is starting in 15 minutes. I still hadn’t got the kid a present! And I refuse to be that friend who shows up with money in a card. Because you never know with kids these days. Alex could be hitting up some other kid on the play ground, for some crack. And I refuse to contribute to the delinquency of a minor. And thats all your doing when you put money in a card people. So now Im like rushing like crazy to get out the door and to Toys-R-Us. I get to Toys-R-Us. And this is when I learn babies get seriously jipped in the toy department. Anything for a one year old boy sucked! The girls stuff was cute cuz it was all pink but I couldnt show up with a baby doll, cuz Monks husband is still not over the fact that Jacob has a My Lil Pony from me.

So I get him a toy for a three year old. It was a fire engine sprinkler thingy, that took team work to blow up.

My brother and sister in law were notified that I was going to need to borrow Des for the day, so I wouldnt look like a pedifile showing up at a kids birthday party without a kid. Since Monk had failed to notify me of the birthday party time change, they agreed to bring him to me. I sneak into the party cuz of the whole being an hour late situation. But it didnt work, someone yells “JENNIFER ITS OKAY TO SHOW UP TO A PARTY FOR YOU FASHIONABLY LATE BUT THIS PARTY ISNT ABOUT YOU BUT THANKS FOR GRACING US WITH YOUR PRESENSCE, ALEX REALLY APPRECIATES IT !!!” Thanks Chris, you are such a doll and that is why I laughed at you when you blew a lung out blowing up his gift. That was Gods way of telling you, dont mess with his favorite.

Desmond comes along and his curls were the center of attention immedietly. Everyone wanted to touch them. He has the prettiest curls in the whole world.

Here is Monica giving Desmond scissors to cut them off, so she can keep them for herself.

And here he is after he chopped them off.

Im just kidding. Monk would be six feet under if she tried to cut his curls off. Seriously.

Monk had a Moon Bounce set up for the kids to run rampant in.

I took Des in there for half a second. He looked at me and with his eyes said “Get me the F out of here, right now, or Ill tell Mom and Dad there is a reason you dont have any kids!!!” So we got out and he was much happier running along in the grass, picking up peoples drinks and dumping them on the ground. Then giving you his cute lil grin, so you just handed him your cup, because that face will make you go into a trance and you are at his command.

So whats a first birthday party with out the traditional cake picture!

So the party winded down and we went inside for some cool air. This is where Desmond tried to put a DVD in a VCR, picked up some fine china, jumped on chairs then demanded you to get him “DOWN DOWN DOWN”, ate some food and danced.

His parents came and got him and he left with his balloon and new best friend. A push along car that he played in most of the day while saying “VROOM VROOM VROOM COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE.”

After Des left it was time for clean up. Somehow every husband that was there had managed to disappear, so me and Monk stripped down the moon bounce, the canopy, balloons, tables and chairs. Washed cake off of places I didnt even know cake could reach. Monks mom came outside and asked where Des was at. And I was like “His parents came and got him. Im new to this, we are doing it in small doses.” She replied with “You like not having kids?” I responded with “Yes I love not having kids.” Monk butts in and is like “No kidding, cuz at least you dont have to do all this!” Which I responded with “I just did all of this! What are you talking about??? I worked harder here then I do at work!” And we all laughed.

But seriously look at me, I am drenched in sweat!

If I dont get Best Friend of the year, the ballots were rigged!!

After we packed it all in, I called it a day and headed home. I was so proud of myself. I had Desmond all day and he didnt cry. I managed to send him home in the condition I recieved him, apart from being dirty. But thats how you know they had fun right?
I post this on facebook and then my brother is all like “He has a sunburn…..”

But even though he has a sunburn, this picture shows that I did my job. I wore his lil cute curls out today, so hopefully Mommy and Daddy well get a good nights worth of sleep.