***Please do not hit on hyper links if you do not like curse words, apart from the lulaville one. She is good clean fun****
So I have this dirty little obsession with this blog. It is totally crude and vulgar, so it is right up my alley cuz apparently I remind people of the sister on the show Dexter. I have a dirty mouth. So dirty that even Orbit can not clean it and have asked me to please quit purchasing their gum, cuz it is not doing well for their advertisements.
I try to keep the blog PG-13/R cuz family reads it. And they do not approve of my awful language. I try to watch it in thier presence, but there is no delete button, once it has left my mouth. So they know around me, I will “colorfully” describe something. The blog, I can delete something if I know it is not parental/brother approved.
So I hear that I resemble the sister on Dexter. I decide to finally youtube “Dexter’s Sister” and honestly it was like they follow me around and write down the witty curse word filled phrases, I say on a daily basis and totally put them in the script. I should probably sue for copyright infringement but she pulls me off totally adorably and is waaaayyy pretty so I am flattered. And they haven’t pulled out my signature phrase “frontbottom” yet, so they are in the clear.
I was telling my friend Eric (Lulavilles brother) that “I remind people of the chick off of Dexter. However, I dont have the channel it comes on, so I haven’t had the chance to watch it. So I think I am going to rent the seasons and have myself a Dexter marathon.”
A couple of days later he tells me that he TIVO’d 2 hours worth of the show and I can come watch it there. To make sure it is something I want to waste my money on and rent. I am all like “Wow Eric that is totally sweet of you, thank you sooo much! Cuz with the economy being soooo bad, I need to watch my pennies. I dont see the Government bailing me out of my cable bill. Ill be over after work.”
So after work, I head over there and sit down to watch this show that I have never seen. He hits play and proceeds to do household chores. I curl up on the couch and prepare to be engrossed in two hours of watching myself come to life on television. You know,if my brother was a night time serial killer.
A cartoon comes on. I think that maybe its just the introduction. So I watch. And begin to feel like I am on an acid trip. Finally I am like Eric, this show is like super weird, I am really confused. So he comes over. Hits stop and goes to the display menu. This is where I see the title. It was Dexters Lab. This makes me laugh sooooo hard. He had totally TIVO’d me a cartoon. But in his benefit, the name of Dexters sister’s name is Deb. The name of Dexters Lab’s sister is Dee-Dee. I would totally of got confused too!! And it was a very sweet gesture. So now I am back to square one and I will be renting the seasons from the video store.
But now back to my dirty little obsession with this blog. I checked the blog, like I do on my daily ritual. And on it, is this sign.
And wow. I have been all about going on a cruise, but now, I dont know. I havent seen in the brochure a warning about the penis monster that may come out of the water and eat you while sun bathing. I am thinking that my next vacation may be in the mountains. I would rather run from Big Foot, then swim away from Penis Monster.
